Breaking up is hard to do

Breaking up with J the consultant

This past week I have spent an inordinate amount of time trying to let a consultant go. Basically our email exchanges have gone like this:
Me: you did not do what I asked you to do.
Him: did too.
Me: no really. I asked for X and you gave me what appears to be a character from a language I have never heard of. So really I could not have asked you for that.
Him: did too.
Me: ok, anyway you gave me nothing of any value, but I will pay you half.
Him: I reject this completely! I lowered my per diem for you! This would never stand up in front of a neutral party!

So, I guess we are off to the Hague to solve the disputed 1.25 days of a five day contract. So far it has taken me two full days to manage this project.

Breaking up with A the maniac

We had one dinner together. One rather long (or seemingly so) dinner that was riddled with minutae about computer programs his firm has developed (details about file format and bytes and on and on). Then he read me his resume (well obviously not "read" in the literal sense, because he has it memorized, word for word). His athletic, educational and professional accomplishments sure took a long time to get through. And then I sort of lost track.

When it was all over I thought it was pretty fair to say let's not do this again, shall we? Politely and clearly of course. About eight phone calls and several emails later (including a point-by-point critique of my dinner conversation - faulty knowledge of art history! incoherent grasp of Paris geography!), all of which were so rude that I did not respond I finally broke down and emailed him back explaining that his behaviour was inappropriate and could he please not contact me again. Which prompted him to contact me yet again to point out my rudeness and other character flaws and ended with "I am not a sugar daddy. Look elsewhere please." Even for me as a general non-reactor it was hard to let that one go. But I was just so happy that he had finally broken up with me.