28 x 365 Jason

J, J, how long has it been? My god. I was an usher at your wedding and got to hang with the guys and wear a tux. Instead of hair and make-up, the prep to the big event was scotch and cigars. You were a dishwasher and then my boss. Last week you pulled up beside me in a cube van when I was out on a lunch-hour run. You have gone bankrupt, lost the restaurant and the house and own nothing. But you still have the girl you have always loved, everyone else you have always known and your cheery disposition. You are walking, breathing, living proof of what actually matters.

what i learned this weekend

1. The Easter bunny does not exist. This hurts more than you think.
2. I am not the only one who is surprised that God has not found them by now.
3. The world is still not a safe place for hearts.
4. Speed does not necessarily kill, but it sure can cost you.
5. My age in binary numbers.
6. That turkey, stuffing, gravy, four veg and daffodil cake meal that your mom made every year when you were growing up that tasted so, so, so good? It still does. Not many things in this world have that kind of staying power. Amen. And thanks to Jesus for the 4-day weekend.

27 x 365 the easter bunny

Of all the fictitious holiday characters you are far and away my favourite. Why? Chocolate, flowers and spring, and oh so soft. Need I say more?

I haven't been busy so much as not paying attention

With the following:

• skiing (learning)
• losing things etc. (gloves, glasses, bus pass, locking keys in (running) car)
• weird highschool reconnects (courtesy of Face Book)
• Hawksley Workman
• and really this weather wastes an awful lot of my time
• email
• daydreaming
• cleaning my house
  

26 x 365 Robb

This will be the longest 365 days ever. It may be the year that never ends. Anyhow, we started (barely) and stopped. Pitched and stalled. And now are what? I am not sure at all, but you are perfect on paper (and online) and possibly the nicest (living) guy I have ever met.

where does it all go?

This is what has been keeping me from myself and everything lately:

• Martha Wainwright
• work
• the noise in my head and the enemy that is my lack of imagination and my over driving restlessness
• making endless plans
• eating cake
  

With men it seems that if you take away the possibility of sex you can take away the possibility of everything. They can disappear pretty quickly.

I am not sure if I have made a mistake. And I am not sure if that's ok, because part of the beauty of being here is nothing ever has to be the final thing. And the fact that I can even draw a Bridges of Madison county comparison to my life makes me cringe (but for the record I only saw the movie). And now that other woman and my children.

If it was Saturday night there is no doubt I would be out having cocktails and dancing away the loneliness.

Something to remember at a time like this, when the night is closing in and strangling my heart, that yesterday at the outdoor skating rink the afternoon was nothing but laughing children, lovely cold cheeks, the scrape of blades on the ice, the slap of the puck, the promise of hot chocolate, the lowering of the sun and the slight sparkle on the snow (more subdued than the enormous glitter of the summer sun on the lake, but sometimes we need to look more closely to see the beauty that is still so plainly there) and the people I have always known.

2008

You have arrived. Here are a few things I have read today, the first day of you:

• "... the essence of friendship is that you always let the other person off the hook." ( L Cohen) I believe this to be true.
• "Sometimes when we think we are keeping a secret that secret is actually keeping us." (F Warren) This must be true as well.
• "Mind the gap." This one just kept playing in my mind for obvious reasons.

And apparently the mustache is back. Who let this happen?